Rumor has it...

Hi everyone! If you haven't kept up with me on facebook, a lot has changed in the last two months.... 1) I'm back HOME in DELAWARE!!!!!! I never thought I would be so excited about that, but after four years in Ohio there really is no place like home. 2) I FINALLY have my bachelors degree...didn't quite think I would make it, but I did, with 10 minutes to spare! (DBA experience....) :) 3)I got a JOB! okay, it's part time, and retail, and I transferred from my store in Ohio, but I have to pay off school so I'm thankful for whatever I can get. Whenever you're at the Christiana mall stop into White House Black Market and say hi :) (I ran into Kayla Martell on my first day!) And that's all I know for sure right now. God's been bringing all the pieces of my life back together (slowly but surely), and I hope that when this rebuilding stage is over He'll let me know where to go from there. It's been really good to spend time with my family too. Don't tell her (she'll get a big head), but I've desperately missed my mom. I watched Mamma Mia recently and just bawled when her mom helped her get ready for the wedding (you know that's a bad sign). Everyone already knows that I missed my other half, aka Larkin the beagle basset. I have a couple of pet projects I'm working on as well. I've always wanted a "breakfast at tiffany's" room, so that's in the works. It is killing me to have most of my stuff still in boxes and suitcases, but eventually it'll be great. My other project is more long term, but I'm trying to get my family healthy. I almost died when my dad told me a lot of times he eats fast food twice a day...I'd like to have him around for a while, so things are going to have to change. At least there's a lot to do to keep me busy and distracted. I'm slowly but surely trying to embrace this new normal that is nothing like what I thought my life would be now. It's always hard when things don't work out the way they were "supposed to", but I've been reminded lately that God's plans are ALWAYS better than our own whether it seems like it right now or not. I'm only 22, and what I've realized recently is that I really can do anything. My tomorrow is the result of every small decision that I make today. People don't become who they are by accident. Choose today who you will become. You can do ANYTHING. Love, Jane

My life in Quotes (You've Got Mail)

This has been one of the craziest months in my life...so much has changed, happened, and been said...I don't know what to say, but lines from my favorite movie keeps popping into my head:

People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened... But the truth is... I'm heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died...and no one can ever make it right.

It's so difficult because I think I have a plan that I'm ready to follow, then God tells me that I'm using the wrong map...I've been learning to trust, let go, and humble myself in the knowledge that I am not in charge of my life. I'm looking forward to taking this summer to really look at myself and figure out what I want and what God wants for my life.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

love,
Janemarie

Quotes from: Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

My Last Full Day

My thoughts have been very full this past week. I've known for months, but it is still hitting me hard that this stage of my life will be over forever. For those of you who don't know, I'm getting married in 4 months, graduating in less than 2, and moving into an apartment sometime between then. So many changes at the same time make me wish desperately for me to be five years old again. But I digress...
I know it's not just me (although it feels that way sometimes), but I am chronic "what if"er. Life is a string of decisions, and a million little changes could have led me down a completely different path. At the end of the day, I'm glad that I am where I am (not the putting off finishing my paper part, but the general state of my life lol). It wasn't God's plan for me to be Miss Delaware or Miss Ohio, but the fact that I got to try has been so rewarding. I've been thinking back on all of the opportunities I've had over the years, I am truly amazed. I've had conversations with a state governor, a state senator, and even a Miss America. I've visited children at CMN hospitals in Dayton & Philadelphia (where I also passed out for the 1st and 2nd time in my life lol). I've been treated far better than I deserve by people who are selfless and kind. I developed a love for fitness and politics, while learning the skills to having a killer job interview. The Miss America Organization has definitely shaped who I am today, and I am so thankful for the time I've had with the people who make it up. My family has supported me through the hard times and prepared me for the mountain top moments as well. My directors (Jacci & Jacky) pushed me farther than I thought I could go. Mamma K and Mamma Soucek believed in me when I didn't. Thank you.

Three of the most memorable weeks of my life were the two state pageant weeks, and I am truly excited for (and honestly a little jealous of)the wonderful woman who will be crowned Miss Greater Butler County 2012 tomorrow night. I pray that she will cherish every moment, serve every person, and learn about herself in this next year of her life.

God Bless,
Janemarie
Miss Greater Butler County 2011

Days four and five

Yesterday the show finally started to feel like it was coming to dinner. We had an early rehearsal followed by lunch at Chinatown, dress rehearsal,and then celebrity waitressing at Applebees. We raised over $400 from our restaurant alone, and half of the contestants were at the other one across town. We were also introduced to the judges for the first time and finally started to set in that the competition is really starting.
Today was my private interview with those judges. Even though this was my second year at states I felt much more nervous this time around for some reason. Fortunately once I got in there I was able to relax, be myself, and answer all of the questions. I always have a hard time determining if an interview was good or bad, but I made it through and I have no control over whether they like me or not...
By the way, I just wanted to thank everyone for all the encouraging comments I've gotten on facebook. I'm definitely feeling the love, especially from my Miss Delaware family.
Highlight of the day was definitely getting to see my parents for the first time since March! We went out for Mexican with my host family, and it was so nice to see and talk with them for a little while.
After that was the teen pageant. Congratulations to Kelsey Barrett the newly crowned Miss Ohio's Outstanding Teen. She has a beautiful voice, and I know she will do well in Orlando. I was also very proud of Matti Crisman who was her first runner up. I got to meet her at Miss Muskingum Valley, and she is so sweet. Of course I was so proud of Miss Greater Butler County's Outstanding Teen, Brooklyn Thompson. I got to sit with her cheering section tonight. I must say, I'm a little jealous of her evening gown walk. It was truly elegant. I'm proud of my little sister, and I can't wait to finish out our reign together.
Tomorrow starts the onstage competition, and I can barely believe it. I'm starting with evening gown and onstage question. I'm praying for a good question and that I don't trip lol. Thursday night I perform my talent, and Friday is swimsuit. Of course you can watch the video stream when you get a chance at:
http://www.ohiomediagroupinc.com/watchlive2011.html
Love you all!
Janemarie

Days two and three

Yesterday was the Miss Ohio fashion show, and all of the contestants had such a fun time modeling the wardrobe we picked out! It was fun being fierce on the runway and signing the state. After that we had another autograph signing with some of the crowd. The rest of the day consisted of learning the rest of our production numbers and trying not to kill each other with the umbrellas. Unfortunately Meggie lost a contact by getting attacked by her own umbrella lol, and there were many broken ones by the end of the night. Thankfully mine has survived so far, but hopefully it'll make it until the end of the show. Since we were doing so well we were allowed to go home early which was FANTASTIC. We got back around 8 and had an amazing dinner with our host family and chaperon. Then we did our Jillian workout again, rehearsed our talents, and talked current events with our host dad for over an hour. It was such a fun evening, and to top it off we got to sleep in today!!
This morning started off with brunch at Applebees. Alyssa and I were the last girls there and they had run out of room at the big booth with all of the other girls. We started our own table and ended up spending the meal chatting with Miss Ohio, Miss Ohio's Outstanding Teen, and the photographer. It was an awesome time, and the food was delicious. :) After some more photos and an autograph session with the girlscouts we started lining up for the Miss Ohio parade. My driver is a member of the capital city corvette club and drove up from Columbus to drive me. He was so sweet, and I was so blessed by it. It was a gorgeous little red corvette. I absolutely LOVE parades, and I had a blast getting to see the people of Mansfield from such a great view. My host mom Sue actually drove her cute little convertible for Miss Vacationland and took a ton of great pictures. After the parade we went to the Elks for lunch and had a good time with each other, our host moms, and chaperons. The rest of the night was polishing routines and figuring out where we move on different nights. Once again we got out early and were back by 7:30. This is a nice change from Miss Delaware last night were we were there from 7 to 11 almost every day. This evening I've just been going through pictures with my host family and relaxing. We've got an early day tomorrow and a lot of rehearsing to do. Hopefully my feet will last me until the end of next week!
Until tomorrow <3
Janemarie

Day Two: Insanity Insues

As I expected, Thursday was the calm before the storm, literally (all of the contestants ended up in the basement during a tornado warning during rehearsal). Yesterday was the busiest day I could imagine. After a relaxing morning with my roomie, we had an hour rehearsal in the morning where we learned our opening number (we are who we are) which is a ton of fun, and we starting on the Glee Singing in the Rain/Umbrella swimsuit production number as well. Then we were whisked off to Waterford for lunch. It was a great time to relax and spend some time with some of the other girls and catch up on what's been going on in our lives. Back to the theater, then off to the mall for our fitting (we are doing a fashion show today). Then we made a special appearance at Graham Auto mall who is graciously donating a car to the Miss Ohio Scholarship Program for the next three years. Miss Ohio will be set. Plus they are sponsoring additional scholarship money for the pageant this year! What an amazing blessing. I was truly blown away. The contestants spent a good deal of the evening at the Miss Ohio Festival in town. It was nice to be able to spend some more time with the girls and also to meet people in the community. We had an autograph session and then were introduced and interviewed on stage. We had to leave pretty quickly though because the sky was becoming pretty ominous...this is where we ended up in the basement lol. We went around the room and each said how we dealt with storms, talked, and waited for it to pass before another quick rehearsal. We ended up leaving around 9, but it felt much much later. Our host mom proceeded to spoil us again and made us a nice dinner before we crashed. I know today will be another long day, but I'm excited about it. This week is an incredible blessing that few people have gotten the chance to experience. I don't want to take any opportunity for granted. Like our backstage theme says, it's all about "making memories and having fun." On to day 3 :)
Love,
Janemarie

Day One: Arriving in Mansfield

I arrived in sunny Mansfield around 6pm today and I was met by my chaperon Jean and a tiny, energetic dog named Pepper (who is currently snuggled up next to me in my bed lol). Jean has been doing this for over 20 years and she's so sweet. I can't wait to get to know her better. Sue and Bob are my host parents, and they are the most amazing family I could have imagined. This is their first year, and they are so excited and have been spoiling us like crazy. It's a beautiful home and they bought tons of fruits and veggies and other yummy foods for us. Although if she keeps trying to feed us all week it might be bad for my swimsuit score lol. They made sure that we feel completely comfortable and have really made me feel like royalty.
Oh, and I have the BEST roommate in the world. Sorry ladies, but I couldn't imagine a better roommate than Miss Willard, Alyssa Waldman. I had so much fun getting to know her today, and we really have a lot in common. We even do the same workout video (and yes we got our butts kicked by Jillian tonight lol). I really couldn't have been more blessed. I was nervous about leaving, but now I know that this is truly going to be an amazing week full of wonderful memories I will never forget. I knew that God got me here for a reason. I can't wait to see what it is.
Goodnight!
Love,
Janemarie